Little Red Riding Hood: Vegetative Thoughts
There’s a wolf prowling around. He’s big. He’s sniffing the jonquils, nibbling a few leaves. Hey, I thought they weren’t into vegetation. The berries around me are shivering with ecstasy hoping to get eaten whole, slide down a gullet to happiness as part of something bigger. Me, not quite ready for that yet, though it’s better than being picked at by some bird.
Here comes a little girl all dressed in red. Like a bigger strawberry only more appealing to the wolf. He looks up and takes the leisurely walk over. After all, she’ll never get away. He’s really dragging this out, ramping up the anticipation. He’s flattering her now and she’s very friendly, answering all his questions and showing him her basket. I mean, ok, I was born yesterday but even I can see where this is leading. Maybe she’s just enjoying her last few moments in an independent body.
He’s walking away. Is there bigger food somewhere? And she’s coming this way, trampling more of those little blue flowers than she picks. She’s picking jonquils and sunflowers too. And daisies and strawberries. And me. It’s a bouncy ride in her basket but we appear to be heading to that cottage next to the oaks. Isn’t that where the wolf went? Did he hypnotise her?
That’s one ugly looking old lady. Looks like a wolf in a nightgown. The girl must have just realised, that jolt as she set down the basket has knocked me loose. I’m tumbling end over end and dizzy to boot but it looks like the wolf just ate the girl and climbed back into bed. He’s being very noisy, that whuffling sound he’s making is blowing the curtains about.
I think I’m safe here, the other berry that fell out just got stomped. A big man with a gun came in, shot the wolf, crushed the other berry and sliced the wolf open with his hunting knife. He’s pulling out the little girl in red and some old lady in a nightgown. They’re a bit stiff but still alive and talking. Those big teeth the wolf had must be blunt.
Maybe getting eaten isn’t exactly what we expected.