Walking is basic to everything we do. Walk around the house. Walk from the car. Walk from the kitchen to the dining room balancing plates of food without tripping. Walk upstairs without a railing. Walk around the neighbourhood or down to the shops. I miss walking. I miss being normal. I watch people walking and […]
Category: Experiences
Things that have happened to me
Grandmummy’s Box
I think it held stationery once. The name on the box is Doeskin Deckle. The box itself is covered in deep red paper, blood-red actually, but the name in gold and the gold deer in mid-leap are meant to denote elegance. Though the box is broken, the paper tattered and the gold faded, I can […]
Going for Coffee
The line for coffee was longer than I expected which made me nervous. She said ten minutes and I didn’t note the time so it’s no good looking at my watch. I just have to wait while all these old ladies ahead of me in the line order what they want. Why do people take […]
Sexuality
When I was 20, I didn’t like the choices available to me. Gone were the fantasies of my teenage years when I imagined that the man I would eventually meet would be as invested in my future, and helping me reach it, as I was in his. When strangers told me that smiling made me […]
The Vestibular System
I noticed it first when I was out walking. Every now and then my left leg went across the right instead of going straight and I had to adjust my legs so I wouldn’t trip. It didn’t seem normal so I mentioned it to my doctor. She suggested dehydration. When you walk a lot, she […]
Visiting the Past
All my friends had cousins when I was a kid. They had aunts and uncles and got lots of presents at Christmas time. They often lived in strange places my friends went away too while I had to stay at home and play with my sister. I did have some cousins in Canada, which, strangely […]
Pathology Services
The pathology collection point is about halfway along the Rocks Arcade in Ettalong, between cafes and a hairdresser. There might be a dentist there too and a shop that sells clothes. I go there every three months or so, so that the doctor can check by body is working like it’s supposed to, and the […]
Getting Fat
I first realised I was getting fat when a friend of mine, who writes his own fanzine, had decided on a nude centrefold and invited me to be his first one. I think he thought it was a compliment, a way of telling me I was attractive and sure to thrill me because being attractive […]
Cataracts and Plumbing
I was terrified for weeks before the first cataract operation. I would make jokes about not being likely to survive. It was either going to kill me or blind me, neither of which was an appealing prospect. People felt sorry for me and told me stories of survival, suggested methods of coping. “It’s such a […]
Adolescence
The first time a guy offered to pay me for sex I was 12. He came up behind me and offered me $10. I don’t think I had my periods yet. He was scary and I ran all the way home to ask my grandmother about it. Lots of men thought they could touch me. […]